Trusting My Power To Respond
Every Situation Will Trigger Aspects Within You To Surface For Healing Integration
Sometimes you will be spit out of a situation when you lease expect it. Picture this. You notice things aren’t right. The behavior of the people around you feels disjointed and you’re trying to put the pieces together. You’re asking questions about what you’re seeing and you see your questions are triggering and troublesome. You have to de-escalate the emotional environment as you’re asking questions to clarify the situation and making sense of the response.
In situations like this, the tendency for me is to doubt what I am feeling and seeing. It get’s nuanced when you look in to it, trusting yourself. So how did I put myself on a pathway of trusting myself.
Choice by choice, I walked holding my hands. When I first started training my channeling capacity, my mind was a record player, playing noise that was distracting. Noise that was electric and acted like a blocking shield. There was an insecure aspect of my mind that would doubt and deny her psychic abilities.
To first help myself through this block, I worked with a professional who guided me into a theta state where we called forward specific memories in time. While in theta, I was able to witness the mind as an object and began receiving a channeled message.
I could notice the difference in the energy and frequency from my mind and the channeled message. When I channeled that day, I cried. My tears were a release of fear, doubt and disbelief. It was like a moment of walking through a fire on lit coals. It was effortless, no scorch, no burn. For me it was the frantic mind, the anxious mind, the unsafe mind that would replay, these are the child-like aspects of me that surfaces when it’s insecure personality is challenged.
I learned to pay attention to the aspects of my mind that shows up in every situation. I learned to take the temperature of my nervous system and my body. Every situation will trigger aspects within you to surface for healing integration. This for me helps me to evolve my response to any situation I find myself in. For me, trusting myself comes in the form of my response.
Sometimes you might be spit out of a situation in a chaotic way. Time and space, Kali and Lalita are orchestrating a dace for you to evolve your response. To move into deeper conscious awareness in yourself and make your next choice. I pay attention to what my mind is saying, how my emotional body is responding and how my physical body is impacted - the carrying vessels of consciousness.
I trust the dance of Kali and Lalita, I trust the living forces of nature, death and creation. I trust Devi when she spits me out of a situation in a way that feels chaotic to the mind and emotional body. I trust Devi to take me deeper into a conscious response from the spark of creation inside of me. I trust Devi to remind me of the impermanence of life and to harvest the power of my nature to respond to her dance of Creation and Destruction.